She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
