community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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