her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
