I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
