For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize