forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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