Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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