high people should be assigned attendants
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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