Barsexuality is the new black.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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