i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
