Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
