Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
