Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
