in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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