Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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