there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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