worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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