that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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