she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
