I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
