wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
