So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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