I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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