So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
