okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
