She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
