he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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