Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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