Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
