I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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