How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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