dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize