Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
