so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
