thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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