i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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