Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
