So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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