the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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