your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
