if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize