i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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