he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
