so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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