True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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