dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
