How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
