actually, I'm a sock model
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
