You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
