eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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