No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Girls should come with a carfax report
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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