yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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