My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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