come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
