New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
