Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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