Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
