i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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