Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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