he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize