thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
