If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
