I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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