then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
