Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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