Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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