Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
