Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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