He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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