Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize