I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize