It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
