and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
