and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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